Disclaimer
by willoffire123
Summary: I've always been quite good at turning out witty disclaimers. Here are some of my best works.
1. Writersius Blockius (Batman Beyond & HP)

**Harry: I'm bored**

**Terry: Where the hell is Willoffire123?**

**(Wall explodes, leaving a battle-wary author in the rubble)**

**Terry: Where the hell have you been?**

**Willoffire123: Trying to find a way in. I've been locked out for months.**

**Harry: How? Usually you're locked in.**

**Willoffire123: Oh it was horrible. I was jumped by a most frightening creature.**

**Terry: Really.**

**Willoffire123: Yes, it was called **_**Writersius Blockius.**_

**Harry: *Gasp!***

**Terry: How did you survive?**

**Willoffire123: By using idea bunnies of your eternal torture to blow up the wall!**

**Terry: Wait, wh-**

**Willoffire123: I don't own Batman Beyond or Harry Potter! On with the chapter!**


	2. Labyrinth (One Piece)

**Nami: Got any 3's?**

**Franky: Go-Fish**

**Willoffire123: I don't think I've ever seen such a bored bunch of people in my life.**

**Nami: We blame you.**

**Usopp: Yeah, we've been stuck here, unable to do anything for 3 weeks because of you.**

**Willoffire123: Gosh, I'm so sorry guys. I guess I've just been overwhelmed by high school. Being in high school now means more work, everything counts for college, longer school hours, and less study halls. **

**Sanji: BS**

**Willoffire123: You know what? For once, Sanji's right. Schoolwork is no excuse for me to not set aside a little time on the weekends to work on fanfiction! I apologize again for not updating for three weeks, but I don't have a good excuse.**

**Franky: You really don't.**

**Willoffire123: I know, and I'm sorry. There is something you, the readers can do to make my job easier and more enjoyable though. I can't improve my writing without feedback on what I'm doing. Even a quick, three-word review would help. I look to reviews to find what I'm doing right, and what I can fix. Also, I'm sure I'm not the only one who truly appreciates a review. Reviews spur me on to finish a chapter. So if you guys could let me know what you like about my work, and what I could fix, that would help me greatly.**

**Sanji: Hey! If you're done with your speech, can we get a move on here? We're all about to keel over with boredom.**

**Willoffire123: You heard the man. On with the chapter!**

* * *

**Willoffire123: Duh, duh, duuuuuh. They're all in there now. All that's left is to see if they'll make it out alive.**

**Sanji: Easy for you to say.**

**Willoffire123: Sanji, you remind me of the babe.**

**Sanji: What babe?**

**Willoffire123: Babe of the power.**

**Sanji: What power?**

**Willoffire123: Power of voodoo.**

**Sanji: Who do?**

**Willoffire123: You do.**

**Sanji: Do what?**

**Willoffire123: You remind me of the babe.**

**Sanji:…huh?**

**Willoffire123: Never mind. Until next time folks! Stay alert for Chapter 16 (coming much sooner than this one did) Labyrinth. See ya then!**


	3. Lunch Break (Once Upon a Time)

**Emma: Where the hell are we?**

**Hook: I was just about to ask the same question, love.**

**Henry: Weren't we just in Storybrook?**

**Mary Margaret: That's what I thought.**

**David: Hey, what does that writing on the wall say?**

**Hook: 'Willoffire123 doesn't own Once Upon a Time'**

**Willoffire123: Congratulations Hook! You passed the test.**

**Hook: Excuse me?**

**Willoffire123: (not listening) In reward, I'm making you the Damsel in Distress for this story.**

**Hook: Wait, what-**

**Willoffire123: (teleports Hook through portal)**

**Emma: What did you do to him?**

**Willoffire123: Oh good, a love interest. You get to be the one who rescues him.**

**Emma: Say what now?**

**Willoffire123: You heard me. Now read the writing below the disclaimer.**

**Emma: On with the chapter?**

**Willoffire123: There you go! You're getting the hang of this already!**

**Mary Margaret: Wait! But what did you do with Hook?**

**Willoffire123: You'll just have to wait and see.**

* * *

**Willoffire123: Here we go again!**

**Belle: What do you mean again? Have you done this before?**

**Willoffire123: Maybe…**

**Emma: (points gun at author) what did you do to Hook?**

**Belle: And Rumple!**

**Willoffire123: Oh please, Rumple's kidnapping is totally cannon! As for Hook-**

**(Willoffire123 waves a hand, turning Emma's gun into a hot dog)**

**Emma: (looks at hot dog) a hot dog? Really?**

**Willoffire123: I'm hungry! Sue me! **

**Regina: I believe a lunch break is in order.**

**Willoffire123: Good idea! **

**Emma: You haven't told me what you've done with Hook yet.**

**Belle: Or Rumple!**

**Willoffire123: You'll find out AFTER LUNCH!**

**Henry: Until next time!**


	4. Thanksgiving Special (Assassin's Creed)

**Ezio: We're back!**

**Edward: Now will you tell us why we're going to Damascus?**

…

**Malik: Where'd she go?**

**Altair: I almost forgot! She gave me a message to deliver.**

**Edward: Now you remember?**

**Malik: Novice**

**Altair: Concussion! Remember? **

**Leonardo: So what was the message?**

**Altair: …What message?**

**Connor: This is getting us nowhere. Altair, did the author give you any slips of paper?**

**Altair: (pulls out a piece of paper) Would this be it?**

**Connor: Willoffire123 is too busy doing homework to be here today. She doesn't own Assassin's Creed. On with the chapter!**

* * *

**Willoffire123: And we're back in business!**

**Turkey: Gobble!**

**Altair: What is this strange creature?**

**Edward: I've never seen anything like it.**

**Ezio: It's **_**gigantesco!**_

**Connor: Guys, it's just a turkey.**

**Haytham: Honestly. It's as if you've never seen one before.**

**Willoffire123: That's because they really have never seen one before. The turkey's native to the colonies.**

**Altair: But why is this 'turkey' here?**

**Willoffire123: Because yesterday was Thanksgiving!**

**Ezio: What are you giving thanks for?**

**Connor: It's a holiday**

**Haytham: Everyone sits around a table, gives thanks for a good year, and eats that turkey.**

**Edward: Does that mean we have to eat it?**

**Willoffire123: No, Thanksgiving was **_**yesterday**_**.**

**Altair: But Connor already killed it.**

**Willoffire123: CONNOR!**

**Connor: I regret nothing.**

**Willoffire123: Well, we might as well eat it now. What's everyone thankful for?**

**Edward: booze**

**Ezio: women**

**Altair: purpose**

**Connor: You are terrible at this. I am thankful for the Brotherhood (and family)**

**Haytham: I am thankful for the Order (and family)**

**Willoffire123: What's that, boys? I didn't quite catch that last bit.**

**Haytham &amp; Connor: We said Happy Thanksgiving!**

**Ghost Turkey: Gobble! Gobble! Until next time! **


	5. Christmas Special (Assassin's Creed)

**Willoffire123: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.**

**Altair: What is this 'Christmas' you speak of?**

**Willoffire123: Come on, you must know what Christmas is.**

**Edward: Not necessarily. He's so concussed right now that nothing is true.**

**Ezio: And everything is permitted, evidently. He is taking **_**un pisolino **_**on the floor.**

**Edward: A piss?**

**Connor: He means a nap.**

**Edward: Since when do you speak Italian?**

**Connor: Not important.**

**Willoffire123:…well that was weird. On with the-**

**Ezio: Willoffire123 doesn't own Assassin's Creed.**

**Willoffire123: Whatever. On with the chapter!**

* * *

**Willoffire123: Merry Christmas everyone!**

**Leonardo: Christmas was two days ago. And why am I the only one here?**

**Willoffire123: Because everyone else has been captured.**

**Leonardo: Why? Why am I special?**

**Willoffire123: Besides the fact that you painted one of history's greatest masterpieces? You're the only one without eagle vision, and you are not an assassin.**

**Arno: Then why am I here?**

**Willoffire123: You're going to save everyone!**

**Leonardo: Don't tell me. He has eagle vision too?**

**Arno: **_**Oui Monsieur. **_

**Leonardo: Oh joy, and he's French.**

**Willoffire123: Arno, if you're french, why do you have a British accent?**

**Arno: Don't all French people have British accents?  
Willoffire123: Stephane has a French accent!**

**Stephane: **_**Oui Madame**_**. I sound like **_**une propre**_**French man. **

**Arno: **_**Qui diable es-tu**__**? **_

**Stephane: I am from **_**la branche coloniale des assassins. **_

**Leonardo: With Connor?**

**Stephane: **_**Oui, avec il.**_

**Willoffire123: Oh I am going to have so much fun with this. Since I take French in school, I can make Arno and Stephane talk in french with more ease than I do when I make Ezio and Leonardo talk in Italian.**

**Arno: **_**Jusqu'a la prochaine fois!**_


	6. Summer Vacation (Zatch Bell)

**Willoffire123: OMG! IT'S SUMMER VACATION!**

**Kiyo: How are you already on summer vacation?**

**Willoffire123: Cuz I'm special.**

**Zatch: No fair! I wanna be on summer vacation too!**

**Kiyo: Zatch, you're a mamodo. You don't go to school.**

**Zatch:…oh**

**Kiyo: Anyway, why are we here? **

**Zatch: And where exactly is "here"?**

**Willoffire123: You're in the world of fan fiction! You and the rest of your friends will embark on the adventure of a lifetime that you've already gone through in the series, just with a major plot twist! That also means doing the disclaimer.**

**Zatch: Huh?**

**Kiyo: I got this. I remember having to do this once. I thought it was all a dream though.**

**Willoffire123: Nope! Welcome to your worst nightmare!**

**Kiyo: *****Gulp* Willoffire123 does not own Zatch Bell.**

**Zatch: No way! I own me! How did you know her name?**

**Kiyo: The dialogue boxes above us said Willoffire123.**

**Zatch: Oh!**

**Willoffire123: On with the chapter!**

* * *

**Willoffire123: Hahahaha, and the plot thickens!**

**Tia: The plot just started, how has it already thickened?**

**Willoffire123: Where'd Kiyo and Zatch go?**

**Megumi: Good question. They went missing, remember?**

**Willoffire123:…**

**Tia: You better remember! They need to comeback!**

**Willoffire123: Relax! They'll come back eventually. **

**Tia: Why not NOW?**

**Willoffire123: You'll just have to wait until next time!**


	7. Gym Class (Zatch Bell)

**Kanchome: Folgore, where are we?**

**Folgore: Why Kanchome, we're in'a the disclaimer.**

**Kanchome: Oh! Maybe if we say the disclaimer without Willoffire123 asking us too, she'll be pleased with us!**

**Folgore: That's'a good idea Kanchome! Quick, say the disclaimer!**

**Willoffire123: Willoffire123 doesn't own Zatch Bell.**

**Kanchome: Waah, I was going to do that!**

**Willoffire123: Too bad, you weren't fast enough. As for your punishment…**

**Folgore: Punishment?**

**Kanchome: Punishment?**

**Willoffire123: Both of you must run 1000 laps around this room. If you're not done by the time this chapter is over, you must start again.**

**Kanchome: WAAH FOLGORE!**

**Folgore: We better get'a started, Kanchome.**

**Willoffire123: MWAHAHAHA I HOLD THE POWER! **

**Folgore: On with'a the chapter!**

**Willoffire123: KEEP RUNNING!**

* * *

**Willoffire123: *sneeze***

**Tia: Don't tell me…**

**Megumi: You're sick?**

**Willoffire123: *cough cough***

**Megumi: Looks like she's down for the count. Folgore, Kanchome, did you finish your laps?**

**Kanchome: *pant* yeah.**

**Folgore: *wheeze* please don't'a make us do them again!**

**Willoffire123: we'll…see…**

**Megumi: Until next time!**


End file.
